Letter to my inaanak...

10 October 2008

Dear Rafael,

Hi! Ninong Jun ‘to...

It’s been quite a while since we last saw each other, and I’d bet you’re now having a hard time remembering my face...

Anyways, I learned from your father that you’re doing well in school, and that is very good news! Keep up the good work. We always believe that all of you (our children) will always do well being part of this family.

I learned that you are going to a retreat activity this weekend and I decided that this is an opportune time to share with you some of my experiences. I believe knowing them will become handy for you as you become more mature and continue on your journey…

Firstly, I’d tell you that in your age right now, communication is the key. I believe that most guys your age get the rebellious nature by not communicating properly and thus feel that they are alienated. Rafael, you should not fall to the same trap. There are just too many people whom you can talk to, your parents being at the forefront. Don’t hesitate to talk to them and discuss whatever it is that you feel you should tell them. You’ll be amazed at how far they’d go and how far they’ll be willing to listen.

Fael, I also want to share with you a truth that I discovered long ago – that our parents only want what’s best for us. I’m not saying that you just follow every whim and order of your father and mother, what I’m telling you is to reflect on them, and try to integrate them with the things that you want for yourself. Being independent is well and good, but striking the right balance between your independence and your parent’s guidance will give you the best choices.

Right now, you’re well on your way to becoming an adult. I know for sure that the transition, even though difficult for some, will be a stroll in the park for you. You’re blessed with beautiful and loving parents who are there to comfort and guide you every step of the way. In a way, I envy them because we cannot do that for your cousin River. In River’s case, we have to let him feel our care and love thru technologies which are not always easy. Anyways, my point is, as it is right now, you have your own dreams and ambitions, and the question is, how do you achieve them?

I would not say I’m an expert on these things, but let me share several points that I feel will be important in attaining your dreams:

1. Do what makes you happy. If you feel doing something is a burden, leave it. It will just be wasted effort on your part, which eventually will not contribute to your life’s goals.
2. Your family should take top priority. When life’s trials and tribulations come, believe me, they’ll be there always to support you. While at it, try to get loyal friends, they’re hard to come by these days, but you can build some by being loyal and trustful also.
3. Honesty and Integrity are very important. There will come times in which you have to choose between two sides. You have to choose one, and fight for it. Nothing in this world is wrong; there are just opposing interests and ideas. Your will and conviction will determine your character.
4. Always remember the Golden Rule – Do not do unto others what you don’t want them to do to you. I learned not so long ago that this is still true in the world. That however difficult and dire your situation is at the moment, eventually, you’ll reap what you sow. As a good professor once said, “Do good things and the Karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you.”

Lastly Fael, I want to always put your trust in God. As I experienced it myself, there are no coincidences and everything happens for a reason. Always come back to Him and He’ll direct you and guide you.

These words may probably be vague in a way for you Fael, but try to remember even some of them. You’ll find out one day that they can be treasures, as I have found them in different stages of my life.
Until then.

Take care always,
Ninong Jun

the rage goes on...

This article titled "The Center cannot hold" is written by Patricia Evangelista and published in the Philippine Daily Inquirer - March 1, 2008.

AS I TYPE THIS, there are others who write their own manifestos, compelled by chance and conscience and circumstance to plug away on keyboards across the country. Every few minutes a new entry flashes across cyberspace: Lozada, ZTE, indignation in its varying forms, pleas for caution, calls to action, justifications for inaction, the long narratives of disillusionment seconded by the angry and frustrated.

I can't pretend to represent my generation. All of us are faced with a choice, and the fact of my youth does not mean that my choices reflect those made by my contemporaries. And yet there is something very wrong with CBCP president Jaro Archbishop Angel Lagdameo's claim that "Our youth seem to be very satisfied about what is going on in their lives." I cannot believe that anyone would be satisfied with this sort of life, with the rape of the Filipino nation occurring with daily regularity, and lie after moronic lie echoing from the gates of the Palace. Satisfied? I doubt if non-presence in an indignation rally is the only manifestation of public satisfaction. The millions of people scrabbling for a meal a day in this country do not go to rallies either, and yet I would hesitate to call them satisfied.

On Saturday, an article in Young Blood condemned all those who trooped to indignation rallies as essentially "blind and selfish clowns," who were either "misguided idealists" or "hypocrites to the bone." And while the writer spoke with righteous rage, he accused those "misguided idealists" of believing they have a monopoly on righteousness. What I find more astounding than his hasty generalizations on the motivations of all who protest the current corruption is his argument that all this rage against Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo is a waste of time, money and energy; as if the billions in public funds lost to corruption is not a waste, as if corruption has not deprived people of the housing and education the writer believes they deserve. I respect his choice to stay away, but perhaps it would be best for him to understand why others choose to go.

Many have said that all the confetti, all the rallies, all the thousands of people who have crowded in Ayala last Friday can do little more than derail traffic. Perhaps they are right. But I will join the next rally anyway, because I believe that it is wrong, appallingly, incredibly, brutally wrong, to allow those in power to believe they have the right to mortgage my future because they are wily enough to claw their way to power. To be silent is to tell every future Filipino leader that there is no limit to power.

Everyone is dirty in government, a pro-Arroyo rallyist told me. And perhaps that is true, but it is no reason to condone corruption and rank dishonesty when we see it, especially when it implicates the country's chief executive.

And this is where I'll tell you where I stand. I do not wish to oust Arroyo, although I support calls for her resignation or due process by impeachment. I wish I could say that I believe in the rule of law and end there. But I live in the Philippines where the rule of law is applied selectively, in very strange ways. How do we impeach, if Congress refuses to allow it? How do we prosecute, if the Ombudsman sits on the case? And so it's the streets for me, because I see no other way to say no.

Once upon a time, the voice of a white-haired dragon thundered over radios and television sets, raging that a nation cannot be run by a thief. It was a voice that galvanized a watching country into the streets, and reminded people of what they deserved. Now the dragon is a senator, and Joker Arroyo sits behind a microphone and helps along the current cadre of thieves. I believe the administration has lost all mandate, I believe the President must be held accountable, and I will go out and rally to add one pair of feet to the thousands who want the truth.

I'll tell you about a friend of mine. His flip-flops and jeans have been traded in for slacks and button-downs, there is a ring on his finger and a giggling, laughing one-year-old boy perched at the crook of his arm. He pays his taxes, he calculates his family's weekly spending; he has worked nights in call centers before clawing his way up the corporate ladder. He believes, very firmly, in the rule of law, and the birth of his son made him even more determined to create as stable an environment as possible. And yet, he says, while a small hand curled around his sleeve, that he is slowly believing that the way out is the way of the street. He cannot stomach knowing that the taxes the government bleeds from his paycheck, money that can be spent on bringing up his small boy, is being tossed into the pockets of the undeserving.

Yeats once wrote of what he thought was the inevitable end of humanity, when "the best lack all conviction, and the worst are full of passionate intensity."

I am not very certain where all this is going. All I know is that so much has gone wrong, and has gone on long enough.

Change

There will come a time, really, that change will happen... that positions will switch - one will assume the task of the other, and vice-versa. For Alice and me, it started when we started working abroad... the change didn't actually happen overnight, it in fact actually evolved, and before we knew it we had switched tasks. First of it is when I started doing the cooking. I don't know, but maybe because of my hidden passion for cooking - and eating - I actually initiated doing the cooking everyday at night, after coming from work, and during weekends when we just stayed in the flat. I am not complaining or anything, in fact, I really relished it whenever I come up with a good recipe and Alice gives me the compliment. Cooking for Alice is a joy for me, and hopefully, when the kids arrive, I could cook for them also.

And so I cook. But I always leave the cleaning to Alice. Sometimes when I'm in the mood I'll clean before we eat, but normally I just leave everything in the kitchen and Alice knows that it's her job to clean everything when we're done eating. And it stayed that way. I cook, Alice cleans the dishes afterwards. It was the first switch in house chores that happened to us here.

Then, washing and ironing happened. Of course, back in the Philippines we don't do these things. We don't want to be pre-occupied with these little things since the bulk of work in the Philippines is just too much (if you know what I mean) for the family to survive, and thus we have our own housemates that do them for us. When we start working abroad, things naturally changed. We have to do our own washing and ironing. It started with Alice doing the washing of clothes and me ironing them. And then after sometimes, we just found out things had switched - I'm doing the washing and she the ironing. Thus another switch happened.

Right now, I'm waiting for Alice.

Two weeks before, I waited for her for two days if I remember right in the office because she has to attend to some important meetings. I remembered the times in the Philippines when she had to pass hours surfing the Web, waiting for my meeting/s to finish so that we can go home. Last week, Alice had been out of town the whole week attending to some important work, which left me alone in the flat for five days. It reminded me again of those times in the Philippines when I would attend a seminar or conference for a few days, and she calls me once in a while asking how I'm doing and telling me she's fine at home with the kids. In those five days I normally would call her and ask how she's doing and tell her in the process I'm already back in the flat after work and missing her. Then today after going back from work, her boss called her again to attend another important meeting with the Undersecretary regarding one of her works. And again I was left in the flat waiting.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining or anything. In fact, I'm proud of my wife. I actually thought what happening to her as a career woman shoud have happened to her way before, knowing her work values and her talents. It's a good thing this is happening to her now, and much more, in the international scene. I always thought she can do more, and go places, and make things happen. And the way it is now, she proved that I'm right.

Anyways, going back to what I'm saying - change happens. Before it was Alice waiting for me, and it was me spending extra hours doing extra work and building my career. And doing so, I could say that I'd been successful. All those times, Alice waited in the background, supporting me and egging me on. This time, it's her turn to be successful. And I know exactly what I will do.

Waiting in the office...

It's past 5 o'clock and I'm still at the office.

Alice and I normally go home at 4 o'clock. This is partly because the official working hours ends at 3pm, and extending another hour won't give us any harm and will build a "reputation" in the organization. :) Another thing is, since we don't have our own car, and we're using the transport service, we have to wait until 4 o'clock for the bus to arrive and for us to get back to the flat. Anyways, that's our normal routine and that's not what's happening today.

I'm still in the office because I'm still waiting for Alice to arrive. Just before lunch, she was called by her boss and asked to attend a meeting in the Ministry regarding a technical competition that I think is supposed to be held two weeks from now. It so happened Alice is one of the trainors on the technical skills required in said competition, and thus, she and another fellow trainor attended the activity. When they arrived there, Alice sent me a text message that said the meeting is not just a "meeting" but instead, they are called there to finalize the questions/tasks to be used in the competition. She said they might be there for much longer than she initially thought. I thought so too, that would happen.

And so, I'm still here, and the clock says it is already 5:24 pm. Alice had just sent another message that they might be back after 6pm. That means I still have another hour to spend blogging or surfing the Web. :)

By the way, if you would ask: at times like these (which happen every once in a while), we just take the taxi going home. We even drop by Pizza Hut before going back to the flat sometimes, which is quite good, if you'll ask me.

The waiting continues...

on blogging... again

I really planned on writing more blogs at the start of the year... well, I thought I could write an average of three articles a week, the kind of which summarizes what's happening in different aspects of my life as the week progresses. I really thought I could do it then... yet now, it is already the second week of February and I haven't added to the excerpt I posted during the New Year!

What can I say? I didn't expect the office work to be this overwhelming in the new year... I even thought I could make writing blogs a regular activity for me this year. I was totally wrong... when January came, I was deluged with so many tasks and functions that I wasn't able to keep up with my other routines, blgging included. When before I could rest and write a short blog after coming from work in most days of the week, right now all I could do is rest and recharge for another day of physically- and mentally-exhausting work ahead. (The work is really that big, you know.)

Anyways, as of this writing, I think most of the brunt of work I've been ranting about in the first two sections of this blog had been accomplished already, and I just need to polish them and continue working on them little by little from here onwards, and thus I'm back (I hope) to writing regularly again... I guess the real fun starts today :)

some excerpts...

i have many things to write, but really haven't found the time nowadays... too many deadlines to beat and too many works to be done... this one's related to the ongoing Lozada saga that is gripping the country right now...

(from Manuel L. Quezon III column in the Inquirer)

To illustrate. The whole country knows he said, “Thomas Aquinas said the worst form of corruption is the corruption of the best.” But he also shared this story: “Rizal asked his brother Paciano, ‘Did God make us poor and silent, or we were so misgoverned we ended up that way?’ Paciano couldn’t answer. Two years later, Rizal wrote to Paciano, and said, ‘In my travels abroad I have the answer: We didn’t get the right kind of government from our leaders.’”

And he said, with a voice beginning to tremble once more, “We must make it too expensive for someone to screw up the country. Only then will the next person will have second, third, fourth thoughts about trying to mess the country up.”

And to me and a nun fascinated by the conversation, he said, “If you want to understand my moral compass, there’s this book I read [‘Leadership: The Inner Side of Greatness, A Philosophy for Leaders,’ by Peter Koestenbaum], in which this question was tackled: ‘Why is it that billions have walked the earth while only a few have stood the test of time? And yet those few lived at a time when there were many who were more powerful or famous than them?’ When a group of thinkers examined these people, they identified four polarities. First, they had a Transformative Vision, for example, Christ’s concept of love. Second, they had Courage, even if it meant going against the trend, like Mohammed. Third, they had a Firm Grasp of Reality. Fourth, they had Unbending Ethics. The four things form a kind of diamond and with all sides present, you have a formidable leader. But if any side is lacking it’s enough to doom any leader.”

for us, filipino workers

while reading conrado de quiros' column this morning at the inquirer.net, i happen to pass by this part, which struck something within me, and i feel i need to repost here...

"...More than any other year, 2007 was the year of the OFW. Filipinos are now spread all over the world, working their asses off to put food on the table of the families they left behind. The impact of OFWs was dramatically felt late in the year when, alongside the free fall of the dollar OFWs brought in record remittances, pushing the exchange rate down. It's not without sublime irony that the very people who are keeping this country's head above water are half-drowning: The same flood of dollars they've brought in has shrunk their income."

"...I hope this year brings better things. But that has always lain in our hands."

happy new year again everyone!