Inch by inch

Tony D' Amato's inspirational speech from "Any Given Sunday"...

I don’t know what to say really.
Three minutes to the biggest battle of our professional lives all comes down to today.
Either we heal as a team or we are going to crumble.

Inch by inch, play by play, till we’re finished.

We are in hell right now, gentlemen...believe me... and we can stay here
and get the shit kicked out of us, or...
we can fight our way back into the light.

We can climb out of hell, one inch at a time.
Now I can’t do it for you. I’m too old.

I look around and I see these young faces and I think, I mean
I made every wrong choice a middle age man could make.
I, uh…. I pissed away all my money, believe it or not...
I chased off anyone who has ever loved me.
And lately, I can’t even stand the face I see in the mirror.

You know when you get old in life things get taken from you.
That’s, that’s part of life.
But, you only learn that when you start losing stuff.
You find out that life is just a game of inches.
So is football.

Because in either game, life or football, the margin for error is so small.
I mean, one half step too late or too early, you don’t quite make it.
One half second too slow or too fast, and you don’t quite catch it.
The inches we need are everywhere around us.
They are in every break of the game...every minute, every second.

On this team, we fight for that inch.
On this team, we tear ourselves, and everyone around us, to pieces for that inch.
We CLAW with our finger nails for that inch.
'Cause we know when we add up all those inches,
that’s going to make the fucking difference between WINNING and LOSING,
between LIVING and DYING.

I’ll tell you this...
in any fight, it is the guy who is willing to die who is going to win that inch.
And I know if I am going to have any life anymore,
it is because I am still willing to fight, and die for that inch
because that is what LIVING is...the six inches in front of your face.

Now I can’t make you do it, you gotta look at the guy next to you.
Look into his eyes...
Now I think you are going to see a guy who will go that inch with you.
You are going to see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this team...
Because he knows when it comes down to it, you are gonna do the same thing for him.

That’s a team gentlemen... and either we heal now as a team,
or we will die as individuals.
That’s football guys.
That’s all it is.

Now, what are you gonna do?

42

This one's originally from FB's Notes. I am taking the liberty of re-publishing it here, as it describes an important occasion in my journey...

(by Rolando Jun Lontok on Saturday, April 23, 2011 at 11:27pm)

The day started frantically.

Lacking sleep due to our attendance in the previous night’s (Good Friday) celebration of the ‘veneration of the cross’, both Alice and I woke up late. I managed to start the vehicle 10 minutes before official office hours, wondering how the heck I would navigate the morning’s rush hour traffic from our place to the office. To top it off, while trying to drive a little faster than usual on a supposed ‘special day’, we were forced to stop momentarily on the roadside when Alice’s phone started ringing and both of us realizing it was in her bag at the back of the SUV. Thinking it probably was her boss, I fought the urge of just continuing to drive and don’t mind the ringing phone. I learned long ago not to mess with the commander-in-chief, especially in the morning of the first day of the week. Anyway, thanks for a ‘slow’ morning - unusual for a Saturday in this part of the world - we were able to reach the office just in time.

After reaching the office, the phones started ringing... both my office landline and my mobile. And they kept ringing. Again, unusual for a Saturday morning.

There was a call from the central QA Department from the Ministry, requesting for another visit in preparation for our organizational audit which will happen in three weeks’ time. Another call from the ISO consultant, still trying to dangle that juicy contract from the management. Still another came from the Administration Department, telling me the driver’s ready to bring the documents needed by the Audit Team. This last call suddenly made me realize that I needed to print some more documents, pack all the CDs being requested, and put them in a special packaging I bought the day before, which I realized I left in my car! Fuming silently, I went back to the parking area. 39 degrees of an early summer didn’t help, and I started breaking sweat even before it’s 8:00am.

The initial salvo subsided. And so I thought...

The boss called, asking for a report on what happened about the work I did overtime during the weekend. I told him everything’s completed and already sent to the auditing team, and that I was just finalizing the program for the meeting to be held tomorrow, including the presentation needed for that event. While at it, the ADAFA started calling... once, twice... I thought he called four or five times, asking for the status of this and that project, requesting me to send him copies of this and that proposal/quotation. Why is this happening today, of all days?

Anyway (again), everything’s finally completed and done in the afternoon, and I finally got the chance to check on the LMS for the current postgraduate courses I’m attending, and also managed to upload some new posts there. Moreover, I was able to read several pages from the textbook of one of the courses in preparation for my forthcoming exam. I also successfully downloaded the papers I requested for the essay I am planning to write.

And then, it’s again time to go home. (One thing I really, really like about working in the Middle East, is that, however hard you work on a particular day, at the end of the 7th hour, you have to pack your things and rest.)

At home, I tried to read more of the required readings, but dozed off instead. I just thought, well, I’ll give the kids the day off, and just continue with their homeschool tomorrow. It is afterall Black Saturday today.

I woke up about 8:00pm. After five years in this region, I already acquired the local habit of dozing off in the afternoon and getting active again afterwards, until midnight. The first hour after waking up is usually reserved for FBing, and this day is not an exception. Today being my birthday, I did not bother cooking dinner for the family, Alice had that covered today.

I still tried to cover several pages of that pesky required readings.

And then it’s time to sleep again... I realized, due to the chaos of the day, that I forgot to say my daily prayers in the morning, the ones I normally do after reaching my office. I made it a point not to forget that tomorrow. Missing that twice in a row would be unacceptable (not for me, but for HIm).

While looking at the man in the mirror just before going to bed (just immediately after writing this piece), I could see that beyond the dark rings in his eyes, the long, salt and pepper hair (I don’t know for the life of me why I chose to wear it long , especially now that the temperature is starting to rise. Mid-life crisis? Hmmm), and the chaos of his normal work and family life, there is serenity and peace within.

I am happy.

Today I realized:

Today, I realized that even in this age of Facebook and Google+, the plain old blog will always be an important part of me (if just for the sake of letting loose my rumblings, then so be it). Thus, I am breathing a new life to my old and reliable 'life notes'... (hope we'll have fun here, eventually).

Again, Man in the Mirror

I look at the man in the mirror today and I saw a happy man. Already, there are traces of getting old - salt and pepper hair, white streaks in goatee, little bit of wrinkles here and there, the beer belly that the guy's really having difficulty getting rid of - but his eyes have that twinkle that will tell you he's contented... at peace with what he has. Of course, it is but human nature to always want something... that's what makes life difficult for all of us being lesser beings that we are. But then, when somebody gets old - like the man in the mirror today - they somehow subside, and everything becomes a bit easier to bear.

I already said that birthdays never ceases to puzzle me. Well, at least I could speak from my own experiences. I don't know for the life of me why on this day you can't help contemplating on many things, especially the year that was. I said not too long ago that birthdays tend to present us with that instant when everything in our life comes in stride. In an instant, our life is shown right before us to further motivate us (or even warn us). Lessons we learned, especially life lessons to further improve our lives, tend to be on top of our minds. Experiences - especially those "emo" ones we shared with the family - becomes more vivid. On our birthdays, our lives is the one movie in our minds that plays on and on throughout the day.

Celebrating this "first birthday" - one year after I began my life - really provides an avenue for contemplation. I learned not too long ago that life really is not a sequence of crest and troughs, but rather a continuous wave of parallel crests and troughs put together. Thus, I learned that to fully appreciate life's meaning, you have to enjoy His blessings; at the same time, continue enriching - and giving - meaning to it, by having your own share of life's problems. Whenever I think of it, it is ironic that in this far away land, one which is not Christian at that, the family becomes closer and more religious. Maybe it's the yearning for our loved ones but home... the local customs and tradition... maybe it's that sense for feeling of extra security... whatever it is, I really am thankful that somehow, we managed to get back to Him and repeat the process of redeeming ourselves.

Emotions - especially the strong ones - I believe, are the fuel of writing. This day, just like other birthdays before this, gives me the power to write again. Well, at least to say something about my life. The past two years after I've written the first "Man in the Mirror" have been very good years for me and the family. It's when we found that what matters are the little things and what matters more is the company of your loved ones. It is the time when we really got our share of life's lessons and started moving towards realizing our family's goal - become closer and more loving, and always being there for each other. It is when we realize that problems will always be there, that's why God is always with us. It's when we started our life again in a different land, in a different setting.

Life has a funny way of giving you a gift when you're getting older - you become mature (and more "emo").

Anyways, I am happy.

Teddy Locsin's Eulogy for President Cory

This is the moving eulogy given by Teddy Locsin for the late President Cory Aquino...

Throughout thirteen years of martial law, until I laid eyes on her again, I never thought that I would ever see the end of it. Least of all that my father would survive it. I am not much given to prayer or pious reflection but when I could set aside my anger, I prayed my father would see democracy again.

Late one afternoon, in San Francisco, I got a call. It was from Cory Aquino, for whom I had written one speech after her husband’s assassination. She said she had accepted Marcos’s challenge in a Snap Presidential Election. I put down the phone, and packed my bags, and reported to her at the Cojuangco Building.

I knew then she was the answer to my prayers. What I did not notice was that the closer we came to victory, which is to say the farther the prospect receded that the Marcos regime would survive, the less I felt the anger inside me. As each day passed, bringing me closer to the day I could get even, the less I felt the need for it as I spent more time with the woman who alone could make it possible.

I did not notice, but I was no longer looking back in anger, or looking forward even, to victory and vindication. Only now do I see. I had lived with my anger so long, only for the day to come when it no longer mattered to me. The only thing that counted was that I was living every day to the fullest, bringing out the best in me—for someone else. A dream I hadn’t had since I was a boy, feeding on stories of chivalry, had been achieved. I was serving a woman who was every inch a sovereign, all the more for scorning the slightest pretension to the role.

I did not realize it, even when I was already in the Palace, by the side of the President—among all her advisers, I like to think, the one who loved her most.

It never again occurred to me that I had scores to settle. And not until today, that I had passed up every chance to get even.

From the moment I came in from the airport and reported for duty, and she gave me in return the same smile she gave me on her deathbed, I never noticed… Not when I was with her in the campaign when she corrected me for not looking at the people I was waving at… Nor when I was with her in the presidential limousine looking intently, for her benefit, at the crowds at whom I waved… I never noticed anything. Except that I was with the only person that I would ever want to be with.

I certainly never noticed that I had left my anger behind. I don’t know how it happened. Except that Cory Aquino ennobled everyone who came near her. I have tried to say it publicly but never could finish. If you saw me as I felt myself to be, anyone would fall in love with me. I saw myself in that hospital room, a knight at the bedside of his dying sovereign, on the eve of a new Crusade, oblivious to the weight of the armor on his shoulders for the weight of the grief in his heart.

And because she always doubted my ability to be good for very long… Indeed, when my wife told Ballsy that I prayed the rosary at Lourdes for her mother’s recovery, Cory said, “Teddy Boy prayed the rosary? A miracle! I feel better already.” Because she doubted my capacity for self-reformation, she made it effortless for me by being herself. I did not notice that I was doing right by serving a woman who never did wrong. I am not sure how to take this moral self-discovery. It is so unlike myself. But if it will bring me before her again, I am happy.