Giving

My mother opened the issue up a few days ago saying, “…it’s quite embarrassing that you’re still the one giving even on your birthday.” I told her I changed my philosophy during the last few years, pledging to my family I’ll be the one to give presents, thereby reversing the process. That was supposed to be a joke intended for my wife and kids, which turned out to be the regular occurrence in the last few years, which turned out to be the preferred arrangement by everyone, which is fine with me. Well, I wouldn’t say giving is exactly better than receiving, having even personal doubts about it from time to time, especially during times of financial distress, when my wallet starts screaming for a refill, which happens most of the time. But it is definitely an alternative, which I suppose could benefit someone who’s really “maturing” (read: aging) all these years, at least in terms of introspection.

I turned 43 today, and I intend to continue this newly-discovered family tradition. I already gave my wife and kids their presents as promised: small, trivial things which are not much really, and promised them of another family tour in the summer. These may not be much, but they serve to ensure the spirit of giving stays with me. Reckon it could even provide a good example for my kids, charity begins at home anyway.

I may not be giving much, and I know that most of the time it’s for my wife and kids. Even though, I still feel a kind of high everytime I do it. It gives a sense of fulfillment, even achievement. And I find inspiration in stories I read. Most notable is the story of selflessness of a Japanese boy during the time when tsunami struck his country more than a year ago. The story goes like this:

In the aftermath of the tsunami, when throngs of people start congregating at relief centers, a Japanese cop of Vietnamese origin saw a young Japanese boy at the end of a long queue of weary and hungry people waiting for their turn in the food ration. The community volunteers by then are preparing the food from various NGOs, starting to divide them as there’s not enough for the number of people waiting in the queue. The cop walked to the boy and started a conversation with him. He found out that the boy lost his family in the disaster, and has nowhere to go until he was rescued and brought to the center. The boy’s story cut deep into the cop’s emotions, and as he looks into the hungry child, he started opening his small satchel, offering his food ration to the boy, thinking he already had a light snack a few hours back anyway. What happened next surprised him. The boy, after accepting the food from the cop, walked to the beginning of the queue and placed the food onto the table. The cop, bewildered by the boy’s action, asked why he did that. The boy’s answer made him burst into tears.

The boy said: ‘If I eat the food by myself, I will be the only one who’ll benefit. But if I place it there (on the table), then it will be shared with everyone and more can partake of it.’ 

This act of selflessness in times of hopelessness and adversity never fails to move me everytime I read it. And I keep saying to myself: if a young boy can sacrifice and practice the gift of giving, why wouldn’t I?

I guess I just need to sacrifice a bit more and expand it.   

Panata

Dalawampu't dalawang oras.

Sinasabing ito na ang pinakamahabang prusisyon sa kasaysayan ng kapistahan ng Poong Nazareno sa Quiapo kahapon, ika-9 ng Enero. Ito rin ang sinasabing pinakamalaki, na dinaluhan ng 8 hanggang 9 na milyong deboto.

Ano ang nasa likod ng pagkahaba-haba at pagkatagal-tagal na prusisyon ng Poong Nazareno?

Ang kapistahan ng Poong Nazareno ay ginaganap tuwing ika-9 ng Enero. Ang itim na Nazareno ang patron ng Quiapo. Ang Poon ay galing sa bansang Mehiko, at itinuturing na milagroso sa kadahilanang bago pa man makarating sa bansa ang barkong magdadala sa Poon, nasunog ito at ang Poon lang ang nakaligtas. Pinaniniwalaang umitim ang balat ng Nazareno dahil sa sunog na nangyari. Bukod rito, marami pang istorya ng mga himala ng Itim na Poong Nazareno ang madalas ikwento ng mga deboto.

Hindi ko maiwasang maging emosyonal tuwing mapapanood ko ang prusisyon ng Itim na Nazareno sa Quiapo. Naging deboto rin ang aking mga magulang ng itim na Poon, at meron din akong mga rekoleksyon ng pagsimba sa Quiapo noong aking kabataan. Higit pa rito, naging saksi rin ako ng ilang prusisyon ng Nazareno noong ako'y nasa kolehiyo. Dahil taga probinsya at nabibilang sa "low middle class", tumira ako sa aking isang lola sa Quiapo sa buong panahon ng aking pagko-kolehiyo. Ang "boarding house" na tinirahan namin ng aking mga pinsan (inuupahan ng aking lola) ay malapit lang sa isa sa mga kalye na dinadaanan ng prusisyon, at dahil doon ay ilang taon din akong naging saksi sa prusisyon ng Poon. Kahit hindi talaga deboto, masasabi kong magkahalong mga emosyon ang aking nararamdaman sa tuwing dadaan ang prusisyon.


Hindi naman kalayuan ang dinadaanan ng prusisyon ng Nazareno, hindi hihigit sa 4 na kilometro sa aking tantya. Nagtatagal lang talaga dahil sa usad-pagong na lakad ng milyun-milyong namamanata. Bukod pa rito, sadyang napakahaba ng prusisyon. Bukod sa milyun-milyong deboto na kasama sa prusisyon, daan-daang mga banda ng mga musikero at iba't ibang grupo ang ipinadadala ng mga deboto para sumama sa prusisyon. Dahil me kasikipan ang mga kalye sa Quiapo, mas bumabagal pa ang prusisyon dahil sa mga taong nasa gilid ng kalsada na matiyagang nagbabantay sa pagdaan ng Poon.

Mahirap ipaliwanag, subalit napakaraming namamanata sa iba't ibang kadahilanan. Nariyang merong gumaling na mahal sa buhay, binigyan ng anak, pinagbigyan ang kahilingan... sa lahat ng ito, isa lang ang aking nakikita - ang pananampalataya ng pinoy ay buhay at walang pinipili: mayaman, mahirap, matanda, bata, lalaki, babae... kahit sino, lahat ay nagkakaisa. Yun marahil ang "moving", ika nga, sa tuwing makikita ko ang prusisyon ng itim na Poon.

Kahapon, nakita na naman  mundo ang debosyon ng pinoy. Kung ganito rin sana sa pulitika at sa ibang paraan ng pag-unlad...

another day at the office...

While most of the world is now in 'holiday' mode, and my friends and former classmates already in their vacations, trips and parties, I am still stuck here in my 'cubicle' trying to do some decent work and be productive (even if my mind continues to wander about what will happen in our small get-together later tonight). This, I think, is the single biggest disadvantage if you are a Roman Catholic living and working in this region. Well, the pay and work environment is good, which do not happen everywhere, and the work hours superb (total of 6 hours a day), but you don't get to observe your own holidays. I know that's being too shallow (and I don't mind observing Islamic holidays, as well). However, when you experience it firsthand, and then for it to be further intensified by what you learn from your social network (well, something's happening out there and we oughtta know), then it somehow becomes an issue (well, at least for me, it's happening).

Anyways, I am stuck on this chair for another few hours at least, and it's best, in the current scheme of things, to turn in some work. I just console myself about the fact that I am already used to this, and have been doing this for six years now. (wow!)

Will they allow me to take an internal leave tomorrow? 

Simbang Gabi

It is that same indescribable feeling.

Source: rhoelilagan (Flicker)

I remember attending the ‘Simbang Gabi’, or ‘Misa de Gallo’ when I was still a kid in our small town. We usually wake up early, around 3:00 or 3:30 in the morning, and brave the cold weather outside to walk the kilometer or so to the church. (This is the time when global warming hasn’t started to be a major world issue yet.) We normally reach the church with a little time to spare, and, being a kid, I remember spending that ‘precious’ time loitering near the small shanties dotting the fence in front of the church patio for an initial taste of that delicious ‘bibingka’ and very hot ‘salabat’. (Well, it sure is welcome to have something to help you ease that cold somehow.) I don’t know the real reason now, but I have no recollection of somebody selling ‘puto bumbong’ during Misa de Gallo when I was still a kid.

‘Simbang Gabi’ in our small town starts at 4:00 in the morning. I think it’s how the Philippines, as a predominantly Catholic country, customarily celebrate the nine-day mass in preparation for the nativity of Christ on Christmas Day. That is also probably why it is called ‘Misa de Gallo’. This practice remains the same until now.

This tradition has been part of my growing up. The only thing changed was that, instead of my parents, it was my friends who were with me in attending the masses during my teenage years, and that the frequency of attending it dwindled as I reached adulthood.

Then, all of a sudden it was gone when I decided to relocate to a Muslim country. 

Until last night.

There may be no bibingka, salabat or puto bumbong dotting the church patio… the mass may be celebrated late at night (10:00pm) instead of the customary 4:00am… instead of walking a kilometer, there may be that long 200-km drive from our place to the church (and another exhilarating 200 kms back!), but these differences aren’t really important. What’s important is that, after a long while, I got to experience ‘Simbang Gabi’ all over again. (...and as a bonus, share this moment with my family!)

Once in a while, it’s nice being a kid again.

42

This one's originally from FB's Notes. I am taking the liberty of re-publishing it here, as it describes an important occasion in my journey...

(by Rolando Jun Lontok on Saturday, April 23, 2011 at 11:27pm)

The day started frantically.

Lacking sleep due to our attendance in the previous night’s (Good Friday) celebration of the ‘veneration of the cross’, both Alice and I woke up late. I managed to start the vehicle 10 minutes before official office hours, wondering how the heck I would navigate the morning’s rush hour traffic from our place to the office. To top it off, while trying to drive a little faster than usual on a supposed ‘special day’, we were forced to stop momentarily on the roadside when Alice’s phone started ringing and both of us realizing it was in her bag at the back of the SUV. Thinking it probably was her boss, I fought the urge of just continuing to drive and don’t mind the ringing phone. I learned long ago not to mess with the commander-in-chief, especially in the morning of the first day of the week. Anyway, thanks for a ‘slow’ morning - unusual for a Saturday in this part of the world - we were able to reach the office just in time.

After reaching the office, the phones started ringing... both my office landline and my mobile. And they kept ringing. Again, unusual for a Saturday morning.

There was a call from the central QA Department from the Ministry, requesting for another visit in preparation for our organizational audit which will happen in three weeks’ time. Another call from the ISO consultant, still trying to dangle that juicy contract from the management. Still another came from the Administration Department, telling me the driver’s ready to bring the documents needed by the Audit Team. This last call suddenly made me realize that I needed to print some more documents, pack all the CDs being requested, and put them in a special packaging I bought the day before, which I realized I left in my car! Fuming silently, I went back to the parking area. 39 degrees of an early summer didn’t help, and I started breaking sweat even before it’s 8:00am.

The initial salvo subsided. And so I thought...

The boss called, asking for a report on what happened about the work I did overtime during the weekend. I told him everything’s completed and already sent to the auditing team, and that I was just finalizing the program for the meeting to be held tomorrow, including the presentation needed for that event. While at it, the ADAFA started calling... once, twice... I thought he called four or five times, asking for the status of this and that project, requesting me to send him copies of this and that proposal/quotation. Why is this happening today, of all days?

Anyway (again), everything’s finally completed and done in the afternoon, and I finally got the chance to check on the LMS for the current postgraduate courses I’m attending, and also managed to upload some new posts there. Moreover, I was able to read several pages from the textbook of one of the courses in preparation for my forthcoming exam. I also successfully downloaded the papers I requested for the essay I am planning to write.

And then, it’s again time to go home. (One thing I really, really like about working in the Middle East, is that, however hard you work on a particular day, at the end of the 7th hour, you have to pack your things and rest.)

At home, I tried to read more of the required readings, but dozed off instead. I just thought, well, I’ll give the kids the day off, and just continue with their homeschool tomorrow. It is afterall Black Saturday today.

I woke up about 8:00pm. After five years in this region, I already acquired the local habit of dozing off in the afternoon and getting active again afterwards, until midnight. The first hour after waking up is usually reserved for FBing, and this day is not an exception. Today being my birthday, I did not bother cooking dinner for the family, Alice had that covered today.

I still tried to cover several pages of that pesky required readings.

And then it’s time to sleep again... I realized, due to the chaos of the day, that I forgot to say my daily prayers in the morning, the ones I normally do after reaching my office. I made it a point not to forget that tomorrow. Missing that twice in a row would be unacceptable (not for me, but for HIm).

While looking at the man in the mirror just before going to bed (just immediately after writing this piece), I could see that beyond the dark rings in his eyes, the long, salt and pepper hair (I don’t know for the life of me why I chose to wear it long , especially now that the temperature is starting to rise. Mid-life crisis? Hmmm), and the chaos of his normal work and family life, there is serenity and peace within.

I am happy.

Again, Man in the Mirror

I look at the man in the mirror today and I saw a happy man. Already, there are traces of getting old - salt and pepper hair, white streaks in goatee, little bit of wrinkles here and there, the beer belly that the guy's really having difficulty getting rid of - but his eyes have that twinkle that will tell you he's contented... at peace with what he has. Of course, it is but human nature to always want something... that's what makes life difficult for all of us being lesser beings that we are. But then, when somebody gets old - like the man in the mirror today - they somehow subside, and everything becomes a bit easier to bear.

I already said that birthdays never ceases to puzzle me. Well, at least I could speak from my own experiences. I don't know for the life of me why on this day you can't help contemplating on many things, especially the year that was. I said not too long ago that birthdays tend to present us with that instant when everything in our life comes in stride. In an instant, our life is shown right before us to further motivate us (or even warn us). Lessons we learned, especially life lessons to further improve our lives, tend to be on top of our minds. Experiences - especially those "emo" ones we shared with the family - becomes more vivid. On our birthdays, our lives is the one movie in our minds that plays on and on throughout the day.

Celebrating this "first birthday" - one year after I began my life - really provides an avenue for contemplation. I learned not too long ago that life really is not a sequence of crest and troughs, but rather a continuous wave of parallel crests and troughs put together. Thus, I learned that to fully appreciate life's meaning, you have to enjoy His blessings; at the same time, continue enriching - and giving - meaning to it, by having your own share of life's problems. Whenever I think of it, it is ironic that in this far away land, one which is not Christian at that, the family becomes closer and more religious. Maybe it's the yearning for our loved ones but home... the local customs and tradition... maybe it's that sense for feeling of extra security... whatever it is, I really am thankful that somehow, we managed to get back to Him and repeat the process of redeeming ourselves.

Emotions - especially the strong ones - I believe, are the fuel of writing. This day, just like other birthdays before this, gives me the power to write again. Well, at least to say something about my life. The past two years after I've written the first "Man in the Mirror" have been very good years for me and the family. It's when we found that what matters are the little things and what matters more is the company of your loved ones. It is the time when we really got our share of life's lessons and started moving towards realizing our family's goal - become closer and more loving, and always being there for each other. It is when we realize that problems will always be there, that's why God is always with us. It's when we started our life again in a different land, in a different setting.

Life has a funny way of giving you a gift when you're getting older - you become mature (and more "emo").

Anyways, I am happy.

Letter to my inaanak...

10 October 2008

Dear Rafael,

Hi! Ninong Jun ‘to...

It’s been quite a while since we last saw each other, and I’d bet you’re now having a hard time remembering my face...

Anyways, I learned from your father that you’re doing well in school, and that is very good news! Keep up the good work. We always believe that all of you (our children) will always do well being part of this family.

I learned that you are going to a retreat activity this weekend and I decided that this is an opportune time to share with you some of my experiences. I believe knowing them will become handy for you as you become more mature and continue on your journey…

Firstly, I’d tell you that in your age right now, communication is the key. I believe that most guys your age get the rebellious nature by not communicating properly and thus feel that they are alienated. Rafael, you should not fall to the same trap. There are just too many people whom you can talk to, your parents being at the forefront. Don’t hesitate to talk to them and discuss whatever it is that you feel you should tell them. You’ll be amazed at how far they’d go and how far they’ll be willing to listen.

Fael, I also want to share with you a truth that I discovered long ago – that our parents only want what’s best for us. I’m not saying that you just follow every whim and order of your father and mother, what I’m telling you is to reflect on them, and try to integrate them with the things that you want for yourself. Being independent is well and good, but striking the right balance between your independence and your parent’s guidance will give you the best choices.

Right now, you’re well on your way to becoming an adult. I know for sure that the transition, even though difficult for some, will be a stroll in the park for you. You’re blessed with beautiful and loving parents who are there to comfort and guide you every step of the way. In a way, I envy them because we cannot do that for your cousin River. In River’s case, we have to let him feel our care and love thru technologies which are not always easy. Anyways, my point is, as it is right now, you have your own dreams and ambitions, and the question is, how do you achieve them?

I would not say I’m an expert on these things, but let me share several points that I feel will be important in attaining your dreams:

1. Do what makes you happy. If you feel doing something is a burden, leave it. It will just be wasted effort on your part, which eventually will not contribute to your life’s goals.
2. Your family should take top priority. When life’s trials and tribulations come, believe me, they’ll be there always to support you. While at it, try to get loyal friends, they’re hard to come by these days, but you can build some by being loyal and trustful also.
3. Honesty and Integrity are very important. There will come times in which you have to choose between two sides. You have to choose one, and fight for it. Nothing in this world is wrong; there are just opposing interests and ideas. Your will and conviction will determine your character.
4. Always remember the Golden Rule – Do not do unto others what you don’t want them to do to you. I learned not so long ago that this is still true in the world. That however difficult and dire your situation is at the moment, eventually, you’ll reap what you sow. As a good professor once said, “Do good things and the Karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you.”

Lastly Fael, I want to always put your trust in God. As I experienced it myself, there are no coincidences and everything happens for a reason. Always come back to Him and He’ll direct you and guide you.

These words may probably be vague in a way for you Fael, but try to remember even some of them. You’ll find out one day that they can be treasures, as I have found them in different stages of my life.
Until then.

Take care always,
Ninong Jun

on blogging... again

I really planned on writing more blogs at the start of the year... well, I thought I could write an average of three articles a week, the kind of which summarizes what's happening in different aspects of my life as the week progresses. I really thought I could do it then... yet now, it is already the second week of February and I haven't added to the excerpt I posted during the New Year!

What can I say? I didn't expect the office work to be this overwhelming in the new year... I even thought I could make writing blogs a regular activity for me this year. I was totally wrong... when January came, I was deluged with so many tasks and functions that I wasn't able to keep up with my other routines, blgging included. When before I could rest and write a short blog after coming from work in most days of the week, right now all I could do is rest and recharge for another day of physically- and mentally-exhausting work ahead. (The work is really that big, you know.)

Anyways, as of this writing, I think most of the brunt of work I've been ranting about in the first two sections of this blog had been accomplished already, and I just need to polish them and continue working on them little by little from here onwards, and thus I'm back (I hope) to writing regularly again... I guess the real fun starts today :)

New Year

Sydney celebrated the new year a few minutes ago. True to its tradition, which is quickly becoming the benchmark by which new year is celebrated everywhere, it celebrated the coming of 2008 with much funfare, along with colorful, spectacular fireworks. It reminded me somehow of the way our family celebrate new year back home. I remember then that on the afternoon of December 31st, the family usually go to the market, never minding the traffic jam and the throng of people rushing everywhere, to buy the traditional "turotot" for the kids, and the family's collection of fireworks and firecrackers for the coming of the new year. Alice also becomes frantic to complete her collection of round fruits, and the other preparations she had to make for the coming of another year which she usually gets from watching all those TV programs that prods you to buy their products which are supposed to bring you a better life in the year ahead. I remember me having a penchant of buying those Dragon brand fireworks, since they are more stable and provide better and more colorful effects, which made the neighbors just wait for our fireworks display to commence and just watch our show. Those were really good memories of the celebration of new year for me, and probably for Alice too... and those are the ones that make the cold we currently feel in this country much colder and bitter, and the blowing of the wind fiercer, as we celebrate another new year with only the memories with us.

Our despair is not absolute, anyway. We have new memories to cling to, and new ones to give us hope. I called the kids several hours ago and asked them about their preparation for the new year. The kids seem happy, and that's big deal for me. Alice had her own call just an hour ago, and the kids told her they're starting the celebration, and that it's also starting to be noisy there, thus, they decided to cut the call short. For us, we'll celebrate new year with friends. That's how it is in this region. There will be no firecrackers, no fireworks. We'll celebrate new year in the same way we celebrated Christmas a week ago - by congregating in one of our friends' house, eat the various food that we'll bring there, and probably have a song or two in the videoke. The important thing is we celebrate it with friends, and not alone.

This reminded me of the new year I spent in Japan several years ago. It was by far the saddest new year I had, I believe. While training in Japan sometimes in the late 90s, I happened to be the only Filipino living in that area where I'm having my training, and my friends happened to be in far away places. There, I was forced to just had a late dinner and then afterwards slept the coming of the new year. I just called my family the morning after to greet them.

Anyways, however the celebration of the coming year happen tonight, I could say that the family is still lucky and blessed. The kids are healthy and are protected by loving grandparents there, both Alice and I are doing well in all aspects of our lives, and the good Lord keeps on showering us with blessings. I guess with those in mind, however the celebration is, we'll still have another great year.

Happy New Year everyone!!!

Boxing Day

I first heard of the celebration of Boxing Day - December 26 - when I celebrated my first Christmas in Sydney in 2005. I later learned that Boxing Day is celebrated by most of the Commonwealth countries, Australia being one of them. This day which is also celebrated as St. Stephen's Day or the "Second Christmas" is supposed to be the day when the neighborhood's year-long workers such as the paper boy and the postman carry their "boxes" and go from house to house getting their Christmas gifts from everyone they served throughout the year. This reminds me of a similar scenario in the Philippines when garbage men and your all-around repair guy give you empty envelopes in which you put a little cash that serves as their Christmas "bonus" for all the works that they've done for you throughout the year. The difference is, in the Philippines these people tend to give you their envelopes much earlier than December 26; sort of getting the perennial "vale" instead of the Christmas bonus.

Anyways, the Boxing Day and all the other days before the new year which are called "days between years" in some European countries like Germany, are also the time when big stores and malls are supposed to empty their current inventories and thus give more discounts and bargains to shoppers. I remember Alice had a particular liking to the celebration of Boxing Day in Australia because of this, when one is supposed to really find good bargains from malls and department stores. I think this is also somewhat being practiced in the Philippines, with discounts and other bargains continuing until the new year.

Unfortunately, Boxing Day is not celebrated in this region, and thus, Alice is dismayed. This means no big discounts, no very good bargains, nothing of the sort from this day on until new year. Well, what can we expect, when Christmas is considered a secondary occasion, it just follows logically that Boxing Day won't also be celebrated.

Anyways (again), here are other Boxing Day origins: (from Answers.com)

• In feudal times, Christmas was a reason for a gathering of extended families. All the serfs would gather their families in the manor of their lord, which made it easier for the lord of the estate to hand out annual stipends to the serfs. After all the Christmas parties on 26 December, the lord of the estate would give practical goods such as cloth, grains, and tools to the serfs who lived on his land. Each family would get a box full of such goods the day after Christmas. Under this explanation, there was nothing voluntary about this transaction; the lord of the manor was obliged to supply these goods. Because of the boxes being given out, the day was called Boxing Day.

• In England many years ago, it was common practice for the servants to carry boxes to their employers when they arrived for their day's work on the day after Christmas. Their employers would then put coins in the boxes as special end-of-year gifts. This can be compared with the modern day concept of Christmas bonuses. The servants carried boxes for the coins, hence the name Boxing Day.

• In churches, it was traditional to open the church's donation box on Christmas Day, and the money in the donation box was to be distributed to the poorer or lower class citizens on the next day. In this case, the "box" in "Boxing Day" comes from that lockbox in which the donations were left.

Christmas

Celebrating Christmas in this country is really quite unique and different. Having been raised in a country where Christmas starts as early as four months before the actual day of the nativity of the Lord and having been used to "elaborate" celebrations the kind of which the actual Christmas feast lasts for several days, being in a country where the Christmas season is usually celebrated in the background becomes really challenging. Yesterday, the group spent most of the day normally, that is, it was taken as a normal working day and everybody went through his/her own usual work routine - writing programs, designing websites, developing online courses, etc. After the work hours passed, Alice and I went home and spent the afternoon listening to some Christmas carols. At least it can prep us to really get into the spirit of the season.

I haven't listened to our collection of Christmas songs for quite a while. I remember the last time I listened to them was way back in September when I had one of those sound trips that I do from time to time, just to while away time when there's not much to do. Listening to those songs again a day before Christmas gave new meaning to the word "homesick" for me. I remembered the kids and the other members of our family, and I thought of the things I and Alice may and could have done with them during those frantic hours a day before Christmas in the Philippines. I had a mix of emotions - sadness, happiness, hopefulness - and it made me want to cry. Anyways, listening to those songs at least made me feel Christmas as I feel it when in the company of my family even for quite a while. That's good enough for me at the moment.

After a while, I called the kids. They told me they have just started congregating in their Mima's house, and is about to start the traditional "Bingo" game until midnight comes, when they share the customary "Noche Buena" and exchange gifts with one another. My little girl Rain intimated that they are preparing noodle soups, burgers, some hotdogs with marshmallows, and other delicacies for Noche Buena, and that she had taken several bites of the hotdogs already. I told her to just enjoy the night with her brothers there and that I'll call again on Christmas day. We ended the call by saying "Merry Christmas" to each other.

After sometime, some of our friends called us. They said they're already going to one of our friends house, where the group's Christmas party will be held for the night. I told them we're also ready to go there, and since the house is just near our flat, we just walked there, feeling the biting cold that signifies winter, and the Christmas season is really here. Sometimes it's nice to just walk into the cold and feel that the holiday season is upon you and you're trying to celebrate it in the humble way you can. We spent the next several hours mingling and socializing with our small group of friends and celebrating Christmas in our own little way here in the Gulf.

Our celebration ended just several minutes after midnight. After greeting each other Merry Christmas, we went into our different ways once again, with some of us still trying to break into the crowded telecommunication lines calling their loved ones back home even though it's already early morning there. The longing especially at this time of year just wouldn't let up for some of us. After parting with each other, I felt like it's back to our own routine lives and to our own melancholic emotions once more.

Although today is a holiday, Alice and I still reported for work for a few hours inasmuch as there are some pressing works and assignments for both of us that need to be completed. Having done this sort of thing for two years - two Christmases - already, we really don't mind these anymore, and went to do our normal routines for the day. While riding the bus to work, Alice called the kids. They said they're already in her mother's house celebrating Christmas with their aunts and uncles, and with their cousins there. And so we arrived at work happily knowing that the kids are celebrating Christmas back home.

In the afternoon before going home, I called the kids again. They're already at home playing with their cousins there, and trying all the toys they received from relatives and friends. I found out that Ash, our youngest son, wanted to buy a pet hamster, having seen one in his cousin's house. I told him if he buys one he should take care of it properly, in which he promptly said yes. I could sense the excitement in his voice already. After that I greeted them Merry Christmas once again, promising them I'll call again as soon as I can. Maybe it's because of the holiday season...or maybe also because of the fact that they're on vacation and not busy doing their chores in school, but the kids want us to call them more this time. The least we can do is to give them their wishes.

After coming home from work, Alice and I took the chance of recovering from the missed hours of sleep from last night's party. After napping for a few hours, we spent time watching TV while the last hours of Christmas Day tick. Tomorrow, we'll do our usual routine again, just like today. Any which way...

Merry Christmas!

three things...

First thing is the cold. whenever the cold weather comes, we know it's the signal of the holiday season. it reminds us to make a list, lists actually - one, of the things we need to buy in preparation for the holidays, and another for those "lucky" individuals that we're planning to give presents to even if it means parting with our hard-earned bonuses for the month :) ... as we say, 'tis the season of giving, although most of us really prefer receiving anyway :) The cold weather also signals us to once again take our jackets and sweaters out from their usual places in the cabinets and use them to attend the Misa de Gallo, although in the Philippines it's not that cold anyway, and we can do away with our everyday attire of shirts and jeans. Anyways, aside from thinking that we could be more "japorms" wearing jackets, we also know that there's not much use of those thick clothing in other times of the year, and so we take the chance of using them during this season whenever we can. And speaking of Misa de Gallo, that's one of the things I miss during this holiday season. I miss waking up early and going to the church, although sometimes it's not really the mass which makes me wake up in those cold early morning hours, but the revelry associated with it, including of course, eating "bibingka" or "puto bumbong" and sipping "salabat" while chatting with friends inside the church patio until the mass ends. It's one of the things that makes me want to sometimes go back to the Philippines... and believe me, those times don't come too often. Although I prefer the much colder weather of this country, I still long for the revelry experienced attending the Misa de Gallo and sharing it with friends...

Another thing is the festive mood. Maybe it has something to do with Christmas carols permeating the air - from the neighbor's CDs or maybe your own radio - as early as September, but I really found it different celebrating the Christmas season in the Philippines than in other countries I've been to. Well, we know that in the Philippines, radio stations start playing Christmas songs as early, and from there, malls, restaurants, fast foods, and practically any and all establishments follow suit. You will sometimes wonder whether Filipinos don't get tired of listening to all these noise until December 25. Anyways, carols are only a part of the festivities. Also in September, houses and all structures get to be decorated with Christmas accessories - lights, labels, nativity scenes - name it, and you'll probably find one in one of the structures that are being decorated in your area. This is the time when "Made in China" Christmas accessories start flooding the Philippine market. It's kind of funny how Filipinos really celebrate the season. And I miss it too... being in a country where the celebration of Christmas is quite reserved, the "over-indulgent celebrations" in the Philippines really becomes a yearning that just wouldn't go away.

The last thing is getting together. In the Philippines (at least from my experience), the holiday season is not just the time for festivities, it is the time of renewing bonds. It is the time when old friends see each other again and catch up with each other's lives... it is the time when the family gets together again in the ancestral home and renew the love they share with one another. For Filipinos, Christmas is the celebration of the family. I remember those past Christmases when we share our noche buena with my family and celebrate the season sharing jokes and playing "Bingo"... the kind you do just to be together and keep each other's company during the Christmas eve. Then on Christmas day, both of us and the kids go to Alice's old home where a reunion of her family will be celebrated the whole day. It's those times when you'll really appreciate the essence of Christmas, and it's those times that we're really missing and longing for these past several years. It's what makes Christmas in the Philippines different, really.

Sometimes, even for just a while, you really really wanted to go back home.

Sick

The season is really changing already. Cold mornings are here once again, and the cool air permeates longer even until before noon. It's good to know that winter has arrived once more...

There's just one problem when the winter season comes, and for that matter, the climate starts to change along with it... people get sick. I personally experienced it the past week. Maybe it was the cold nights or the prolong cold mornings, but either way, I got hit by a flu. I even experienced some chills during the first day I got it. And so, I was not feeling well for maybe, four days... with aching muscles and headache, combined with on-off fever. I finally decided to visit the clinic on the second day. The nurse said I had an inflammation of my tonsils, which indicate something of an infection is there. Anyways, after taking some anti-biotics and vitamin C tablets, I finally felt good in the fourth day. Everything's well again :)

After my encounter with flu, I decided winter - and the cold weather - is really finally here, and so I started wearing light sweaters during nighttime. I also started to put away my sleeveless shirts, I won't use them for quite sometime.

Alice is happy... I won't be using the airconditioner anymore at night :)

Swimming!

The group had a blast in yesterday's swimming party. It was planned several days ahead, of course, but the bulk of preparation happened in Wednesday night when the group started the preparation and cooked all the food that will be brought to the beach. Almost all the gang were in Fidel's flat, which is only on top of our flat, and so we also didn't miss the fun. Actually, the dinner that night happened in our flat, of course, after they had finished cooking "bulalo" in Fidel's. After dinner, some of our friends played tong-its, while some, including me, watched movies. We had finished two movies that Wednesday night - Blood Diamonds and Over the Hedge. The group decided everything is ready and finished at around 1AM and decided to go back to their respective flats.

We started going to the beach early on Thursday, the bus is actually rolling at 8:30AM. We reached the resort before 11AM, and since it is almost winter already, we were not immediately able to dip into the water as it was still very cold. The wind, of course, is quite strong this time of year, which made the waves a little bit bigger than they usually are, and when we finally decided to swim, we had a fun time riding these quite big waves, which made the activity all the more funny. After our rendezvous in the water, the boys decided to take a little swig at the nearby clubhouse. the girls, meanwhile, stayed at the cottage, and continued nibbling on the abundant food that were prepared the night before.

We decided to leave the resort around 4PM to go to the mall and bought some stocks - food, toiletries, etc. After staying and roaming in two nearby malls, we decided to visit our favorite fish restaurant and eat good grilled fish at 8PM. We finally get to go back at 9:30, and arrived home at 11:00PM.

It was indeed an exhausting but enjoyable day...

Finally, today...

I configured and put up my site... it's not really my own actually, I am sharing it with Alice and the kids... however, I am the one managing it (well, that's understandable). Putting up a site, I learned, really requires patience. You have first to register your domain, subscribe to a hosting server (if you do not have a 24-hour machine to host your website), then wait for your domain to propagate over the web, and finally create the web pages for your site.

I actually created only a single page in the meantime. It actually serves as portal to all the sites that I and Alice have been maintaining through these years. Most of these sites are social networking sites, by the way. And most of the contents are journals (blogs) and pictures about our own personal and work activities, as well as those of our kids'. Anyways, having a portal that will compile all those is really another very good step, as our friends (both existing and future) will have a single site to go through everytime they would want to visit any of our existing sites.

Although the site is currently a one-page site initially, I am planning to expand it to a full-blown personal-commercial site in the future, and hence, you can expect developments on the site in the coming days or weeks. Hopefully, and if time permits, I could improve it quickly for the benefit of everybody.

As it is right now, you can visit the site to go to our journals and blogs at http://rolandolontokjr.net or alternatively use Alice's domain which also points to that address at http://alicelontok.net.

Well then, see you there!

Celebrating a birthday...

It's Rain's birthday today... she's seven years old now... as we've been chronicling on our family's site, she's helping her Mima organize her birthday party for quite a while now. I didn't really believe she'd been that "mature" already, but indeed she is, as narrated by her Mima - my mother - when they called me this afternoon, just after the celebration...

My mother told me that Rain was very happy, and really was in a very jovial mood throughout the celebration. She said that the little girl made the table hopping herself, talking and joking with her guests - some friends in school, neighbors, and of course, aunts, uncles, and cousins. She also told me that Rain even sang a song for the visitors during the party, and distributed the loot bags to the kids who attended her party. She don't usually do those things during her previous birthday celebrations, she's always the shy type. I guess the girl is really growing up...

What really moved me during our conversation was the little story that my mother told me during our conversation: she said that in the morning when they are still preparing the tables and chairs, and doing some decorations at the place, she paused for a while and sat on a chair feeling a little pain on her nape. She rested for a while thinking that maybe she has a case of high blood pressure. Rain approached her after a while asking how she's feeling... she said she had to rest a little since she's not feeling too well. Suddenly, she said, Rain looked at her very seriously and said, "Mima, me sasabihin ako sa 'yo" ...she asked her "What is it?", thinking that maybe Rain would ask for another thing to be bought or another thing to be done in the party. Rain then said she's a little bit embarrassed to say it.

Her Mima then told the little girl, "you can tell it to me, there's no problem"... Rain then looked at her intently once more, and with tears welling in her eyes said: "Mima, thank you very much, ha?... for everything." At that point, my mother told me that she was not able to contain her emotions and cried. I was eating at the cafeteria when my mother told me that story... I would've cried - I want to cry, actually - if not for the many people there eating their lunch at that time. Alice may had seen the sadness in my face that she asked what happened. I had to pause for a while and clear the lump in my throat before narrating her the story.

Anyways, our little girl's birthday party went well... as I talked to Rain after my conversation with her Mima, she was still in a party mood. She said she'd had many gifts, and even received some money from friends. She's even already had one special gift that she already liked very much - the one given by her Tita Jet, Alice's eldest sister. She said that she's a little sad that her teachers were not able to attend the party, but anyhow, she's also happy that some of her friends and classmates were there. From the way she sounded when she told me more stories about her party, I would have to say that the celebration was indeed successful even though we're not there...

I somehow feel guilty that we're not there on our little girl's birthday party, me and Alice. I even felt more sad when my mother told me that "Thank You" story. I guess somehow, our kids really had grown up and become more mature faster to cope with us not being there with them throughout most of their growing years. I guess that's a natural outcome of one's adaptation to their current environment. But somehow too, I am thankful that they're able to cope with us being not there with them... as I mentioned previously, everybody in the family is doing his or her share of sacrifice in the family's current situation, and I'm very proud of my kids for always hanging tough and still remaining their sweet and respectful self for us...

As Rain celebrated her birthday today, I could see she's really grown up... in more ways that I can imagine.

I love you my little girl... happy birthday again...

Preparing for a party...

Our only daughter, Rain, will be turning seven this Sunday. As we're not there to prepare for that important day in our little girl's life, we have relied on key family members to do the preparation for us. For her part, Rain had told everybody else there what she wants and what she needs for the party. The preparation had been going on for more than a month now... not that it will be a very big party, Rain wants it to be a simple celebration - with only the family members, some of her school friends, and teachers to attend.

Anyways, as they prepare for the event little by little, it took them a month for the planning and execution to complete everything. We found out that our little girl has a knack for events planning, as she directs her Mima how she wants the party to be. As it is, they are now into the finishing touches, just checking their orders and making sure that everything will be ready come Sunday. We told them to take many pictures so that we'll have many to see and relish. Well, that's another sacrifice we have to make :(

Anyways, I had chronicled several important communication between me and Rain during her preparation, and I posted them in the Calendar section of the family's site (http://lontokfamily.multiply.com). You can check them there. In the meantime, Alice and I are hoping the coming storm won't ruin everything Rain and her Mima had worked for...

Wednesday Club

Pinoy expats here in our place had this tradition of meeting together every Wednesday evening for a nighttime of casual conversation, good food, and just being Pinoys and friends with each other. Nobody actually started it formally, it just came into being that way. I remember the time when we're just new here, Alice and I, and two other Pinoys working in the same office as ours. We'll call each other up on the phone on Wednesday nights, asking each other to walk to the city centre for just the fun of it... we'll settle in one of the many restaurants dotting the Centre afterwards, the kind that's usually frequented by other expats trying to while the time away. We'll talk of our jobs, the office, this new place that we're in and how we're currently coping, our families back home, any and all topics, really... and just like the others, we'll spend hours there, whiling away time, until we get sleepy and decide to go home again. This simple routine usually takes us several hours - usually until very late at night - but we're thankful for each other's company... well, at least even for several hours a week, we tend to forget the rigours of everyday activities at work, and we feel like we're in the Philippines all over again with the company of other working Pinoys.

When more Filipinos began coming in this place, our small group slowly became bigger and bigger... and suddenly we found ourselves occupying several tables in the restaurant, the biggest group of regulars there during Wednesday nights. We were even given the same waiter to serve us everytime we go there. Our simple routine became an important weekly activity for Pinoy expats in this place... we had formed the Wednesday Club.

The meeting of the Wednesday Club is one activity that's always anticipated by Pinoy expats in this area. It's meeting is actually an informal one, its activities are just plain talking with other "members", sharing new jokes, and just being good buddies. But it became very important because it deepened the bond of Pinoys... it strengthened their friendship. For the last year or so, I haven't experienced a week that the meeting was cancelled. Sometimes, it's moved to Thursday or maybe even Tuesday (when there are other important activities that most "members" should attend) but everybody made it a point to be together once a week. I do believe that this is one characteristic of the Filipinos that makes them different from other nationalities. We really extend our family as much as possible... and in a foreign land, we do that through our Pinoy friends, our brothers and sisters here.

Tonight is one of those nights the Wednesday Club had their get-together... Alice and I had just arrived from the meeting, and with tonight's get-together ending quite late, Alice immediately fell asleep after arriving. I'm still listening to Alice's collection of rhythm and blues in her iPod nano... sleep hasn't caught me yet. While at it, I decided to write a blog, and well, what better topic than the just-concluded activity. The Wednesday Club had been there for more than a year already, and I haven't written anything about it yet... the Club had already witnessed many things, and for sure, it will witness still many more. Various stories will definitely be written for the Club. For now at least, the Club's history (in this blog) had begun.

On PressCon and Writing

River had good news to us the other day. He said that he won in the Division Schools Press Conference (for elementary students), although he only got the 9th place. It was in the editorial writing category. He's actually kind of sad getting only 9th place, but Alice told him that it's alright, and that it was only his first venture in the journalism area, and that still has next year to improve on his skills in writing. She said further that it was indeed an accomplishment on his part, because he was not prepared - there was no formal training and coaching before the contest unlike in other schools - and even so, he still managed to be included in the top ten.

It was indeed an achievement for River. The division press conference is quite difficult to hurdle inasmuch as all the best writers in the province are there, competing with each other. And with no formal training in his school on the category in which he competed, that means the kid really knows how to write and got what it takes to compete in this field. Maybe it's the product of those years of reading anything he lays his eyes on. River you knnow, is a voracious reader.

While looking at the mother and the son chatting away about writing and press conferences, I cannot help but remember my childhood experiences in these areas. I was a writer too, having nurtured by my mother in this field at an early age. I actually started in press conferences in much the same age as River, and had been editor-in-chief of my schools' official papers from the elementary until college. I had been to various press conferences, in different levels, and I guess I really developed my skills by competing with the best students in this area. I believe that most probably just like me, River will hone his skills slowly but surely, until it comes to that point when he'll be there competing with the best of them. You know, just like me, River likes to read a lot, and I think that's one of the most important characteristics you need if you want to become a good writer. It reminds me of the time when I was still in high school competing and besting all of them in the regional and national levels. I usually rely on phrases and words I read, and remembering the writing styles of the authors of the articles I often read. I know River could go on much the same way. I can sense in him the interest and passion in this area which I felt when I was his age. While at it, I came to realize that the only difference between me and him in this field is that River likes to write editorials and features, while I wanted to be a good copyreader and sportswriter then.

Anyway, we finally put up a plan to further hone River's skills, and it is that he should continue writing manuscripts in his chosen areas, send his writings to me for comments, and then improve them throuogh my guidance and write more. This is again a time when you appreciate the developments in technology since it will not be a problem for us to do that, because we have emails and chats nowadays, and sharing and transfer of files is as easy as browsing the Web. River is sad that this year, he won't be able to compete in the regional level since only the best seven will be sent by the division. I told him that it will be an opportunity for him to practice more and learn more... and to become a better writer for next year. He liked the idea. He's really looking forward to participate in a higher level next year, and he's ready to do what it takes to get there.

Today I Realized...

That Filipinos can also compete with other nationalities in the area of education and training, and that Filipinos far from their homeland really become brothers and support each other during times of trial for one. This is a very different scenario from what I usually see and experience in the Philippines, where in every possible opportunity, other Filipinos will take cheap shots and backstab their colleague/s so that he/she will not be able to prosper.

Today I also realized that given the opportunity and the chance, Filipinos like me will do what it takes to excel in his field and help his organization realize his vision in his own humble way...

I got exactly that today. The chance to do a presentation about a strategic plan that I drafted two days ago for the educational technology center of an institution. This is in relation to my development plan for the said center. There are several development presentations given, and each one proved to be unique in itself. I happen to be the last presenter which enabled me to observe the various presentations and analyze their strengths and weaknesses. Applicants are varied, and that means they come from different nationalities and different academic background and industry experiences.

I do believe that based on the plans presented, my plans for the various action programs for the Center could compete with the best of them. Of course, it will sound bias since I am the one assessing everything, but objective as I can be, it really dawned on me that Filipinos could really do it, that is, we can really compete in the international stage provided we work diligently and devote serious time to our work. I know that more than 10% of Filipinos work abroad. But most of us work as ordinary employees. Some probably get lucky and are appointed in various administrative positions, but then, what I'm saying is, Filipinos outside of their native lands, really work their butts out and compete. And if they just put more efforts and more commitment to it, better positions can be there for the picking for them.

As I realized today, Filipinos are really one gifted people... the problem is, we tend to show these gifts to us when we are far away from our land. In the Philippines, we're contented on just being dead woods and always show our crab mentality... of course, not all of us are like that there... but then, those ones that are not are the rare ones... the exceptions, rather than the rule...I wonder, why is it so?